Singleness is not a bad thing. But in the Christian world, it can often be interpreted as the phase before life actually begins. Sometimes even being identified as “single” can feel like a form of punishment to a person in a time when family portrait sessions and engagement ring photos make up approximately 93% of Facebook News Feeds. (This number is a loose statistic with no real quantitative research to back it up). I’ve been in this season myself for a while now, and I know how hard it can be to live in the “now” when everyone seems to be asking and wondering about your “later”.

The desire for marriage and family is not innately wrong, and I believe it is a true and good desire for most people. But how do you embrace this unique time of life—looking ahead to the future without forgetting to be present?

...how do you embrace this unique time of life—looking ahead to the future without forgetting to be present?

Summit is about to finish out its five-week speaker series called You Are Here that has been directly addressing these types of questions for single people. Each week, a new speaker has dealt with a different topic from identity to family to sexuality to time. Focusing in on the way I approach singleness in these areas has been eye-opening for me. I’ve found it can be fairly easy to give yourself an overall “be content” speech and expect never to struggle with the hard parts of singleness again. But when I’ve really looked at how I’m using my time as a single person or where I’m finding my identity as a single person, I’ve begun to see real ways that I can change and embrace this season for the better. One of my favorite parts about the seminar was that each speaker addressed the fact that singleness does not look the same for everyone. Singles aren’t always young professionals. They’re divorced people, widows and widowers, people who are terrified of relationships because of their past, people who are deeply longing for marriage. It may seem like one category, but it’s filled with different personalities and stories, much like the church itself.

Ultimately, this series has given me a deeper understanding of how much the way I approach my life now matters. It’s okay to long for something, it’s okay to be lonely and sad, and it’s okay to dream about the future, but don’t miss out on what’s happening now. Because whatever phase of life you’re in, wherever that may be, you are here. And right here, you already have everything you need to embrace your role as a steward of Christ’s love to the world.

 

 

Robyn Batts is a Summit partner who volunteers in the Worship Department, works at the nonprofit Market Colors, and is Robyn The Bird on the Sugarcrash Kids podcast. 

This Monday, February 1st is the last night of You Are Here: A Speaker Series for Singles. We'll be having a Q&A session, so text your questions to 407-900-1008 before Monday night and our panel of singles and married folks will answer them. More information here.